In Which McPeak Has Come to a Crossroads...

Work is ramping up.  We have a small event next Sunday (after a half marathon on Saturday) and a HUGE event in May.  To be fair, this is going to be the biggest thing ever to happen at PCC.  But I'm realizing that I'm falling back into old habits when work gets busy and stresses me out.  I'm falling away from the promises I made to myself in January about how 2015 was going to help me Become My Best Self.

And it's my own fault, really.  I'm not forming new habits...just pushing the old habits back and out of the way until I need them.  They are, in a way, my own defense mechanism, my own safe space to be in when I feel threatened or otherwise stuck.  

First Example:  when I get stressed out from work, I usually do two things:

1.  Stress eat like a motherfucker

2.  Blow off my workout routine in favor of staying in bed and/or watching copious amounts of TV

Totally.  Uncool.   When I feel stress at work the FIRST thing I should do is go for a walk, or a run, or a bike ride, or lift some dumbells.  This lazy routine is for the birds.  I'm better than that.  And as my hubby said last night, "you need to be a better example for the people around you."  Absolutely fucking right.  I AM better than that!!

So how does one fix this?  That's the $60,000 question.  And I thought this morning about a new mantra.  What can I say to myself when the going gets tough?

"McPeak, You Are Better Than This."

"Fuck This Shit."

"I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggonit, people like me."

And having a mantra doesn't mean that I'm going to make new habits.  It gives me something to focus on, but then I still have to go back to work.  I still have to dodge bullets, adjust to change, and overcome emotions.  

So, as Leo Babauta says, START SMALL.  Make one small change, one promise to yourself, and do it every day.  

For the week of April 6, I'm making a promise to myself to not stress-eat for one week.  And when I feel the funk coming my way, I'm just going to get up and go for a walk, a stretch, or use my Headspace app to listen to some SOS three-minute meditation.  There will be no excuses to stress-eat whatsoever!!  

Stay tuned!